La Isla Bonita

Appropriately titled for Jeffrey Stephen Clarke

(whom absolutely idolized Madonna)

~In Loving Memory~

 

 

Islands & Friendships

 

Ever since I got back from my life-changing trip to the Philippines, it was immediately back to the grind at work with a side case of the sniffles and an upset stomach :-(  A weekend of rest began to follow up nicely until I heard the devastating news about a friend passing away. I met Jeff through my best friend, Kendi. Jeff and Kendi worked together and became the closest of friends when she left me for California at the beginning of 2012. That was a tough year, but I knew she had found Jeff, and he was her rock. So much so, that when she moved back to Texas a year later, she packed Jeff up into her lil suitcase and brought him too! He actually used to live in Austin many years ago and had attended UT (hook 'em \m/ ), but was ready to come back (because Austin is the best, of course). The funny story about when I first met him involves dogs and him being naked...get your mind out of the gutter people! I was headed out of town with my family, and Kendi agreed to watch our dog while we were away. She had to go to work, but told me Jeff should be at her apartment to let me in, but to go ahead and get the key from the office, just in case he wasn't. When I got there, boy, did I surprise the heck out of him?! He was asleep on her couch, and I knocked and knocked with no answer. Finally, I used the key to let myself in. So, he wasn't naked after all (sorry to disappoint), but he was in his itty bitty underwear and awoke to frantically barking dogs (his, Kendi's and mine!) His reflexes weren't the best, but eventually he found the blanket to cover up with while I introduced myself, laughed hysterically, and showed myself out! That quick 3 minute meeting was phenomenal. I was only lucky enough to hang out with Jeff a handful more times throughout the past year, but that was more than enough times to get to know what a special person he was. My heart aches for his family, friends, and especially Kendi. What she feels, I feel <3

The last photo of us all together...Jeff is in the front <3

Good friends; true friends can often be hard to come by. Those that love you unconditionally and vice versa. Those that will stand by you when you make stupid mistakes (pretty much anything having to do with boys) or make them with you. Those that help you through life's shitty times, usually with a hug or a wine night. Those that will laugh with you until your cheeks hurt as well as at you when you say or do something completely naïve. Those that will follow you half way across the country, or world for that matter. Those that will do anything to make sure you have a smile on your face. Those that will tell you how they really feel about your baby seals (code for flabby arms) or how that dress really looks on you. Those that will make you feel beautiful when your insecurities are showing. Those that know the perfect picture pose that will be the keeper. Those that just know what you need right there in that moment. Those that will take care of you without hesitation or complaint (like holding your hair back when needed). Those that will love your children as their own (most important). Those that will defend you no matter what because they understand your perspective. Those that are selfless when it comes to each other. And those that will talk you down when your inner Kenzilla comes out! I sound like a sappy card right now, but it is all so true. I think all of us can attest to this and can think back on friendships we've had that we thought were deep and true, but turned out poorly, usually over something ridiculous.  

I have two best friends, the closest people I have ever had in my life (maybe one day I will have a third - a significant other to be exact, Insha'Allah). The two that know me inside and out. Ashley is my Amarillo best friend. She's been that friend since we were 12 years old in 6th grade. She makes my heart warm and fuzzy, and even though we haven't lived in the same city in 8.5 years, every time I see her, it's like no time has passed at all. We just pick right up where we left off so naturally. I love her so. When I lost my dad at 16, Ashley was there hugging me. She knows my pain. She is my light when I think of that time of my life. We were inseparable during our middle school and high school years. Many jokes were made about that to our expense, but I couldn't imagine going through those years again without her! I wish I could see her more often...I wish our kids could grow up together, but I kind of started a lot earlier in that department than her! Lol! In fact, she saw me through the births of my babies when we were babies ourselves; she was the only one standing by my side at my wedding; and she was my strength throughout my scary divorce. Ashley has been there for the worst parts of my life, and I truly believe I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for her <3

 

Kendi is obviously my Austin best friend, even though she's from Amarillo too (we didn't know each other then - except through a family connection where, unbeknownst to us, I ended up getting her chow dogs when I was in 3rd grade?!) She's been an integral part of my life as an adult as we officially came into each other's lives at the perfect moment. Life changes were upon both of us! We've bonded for so many reasons and our friendship knows no distance either! We travel the world just to see each other! One of the most admirable traits about Kendi is her heart. She loves soooo much! I like to think we have that in common! There are many times I wish I could be more like her because it's quite funny how opposite we are in some ways. We definitely balance each other out! She's the papa to my razzi. She's the T to my A (haha, our joke, but I'm sure you get it ;-)  Now that I think about it, both Ashley and Kendi are Scorpios. Coincidence? I think not?! Ashley and I are most definitely yin and yang as well! So there you have it! Aries and Scorpios make the best of friends <3

 

Even though I have an extreme amount of room in my heart for close friends (enormous shout out to Cortney, Hanna, Darcy, my sister Shanna, and now, the Tribe), these two ladies take the cake (and eat it too; Mmm...get in our bellies!) and can never ever be replaced. So thank you ALL for being who you are and positively affecting my life!

So why was the Philippines life-changing? Gosh, where to start?!

First of all, that island is muy bonita (which is really an understatement!) I don't have much to compare it to, but what a fabulous beginning for my blog of travels! Besides our move to the UAE, this was my first actual vacation outside of the US of A. Now how am I going to find anything that lives up to Boracay?! Really!

Second, I met the most amazing tribe of people there. Honestly. The best people. Again, these are hard to come by. They embraced me and my children immediately!!! That says a lot! No, it says EVERYTHING! Who wants to spend an island vacation with a single mom and her 3 teenagers (well, Parker's 12, eh, close enough?) Seriously. Most people would be rolling their eyes, griping, or trying their best to do their own thing and stay away. This tribe held their hands. This tribe ate with them. This tribe swam with them. This tribe talked AND listened to them. This tribe looked out for them. This tribe, without hesitation or resentment, helped me look for them when we got separated...twice! This tribe let them play with their hair. This tribe danced with them. This tribe helped others with them. This tribe ate Balut with them. This tribe jumped waves with them. This tribe played games with them. The tribe taught them how friends and adults should be. This tribe accepted them. This tribe loved them...and in return, I love them. So rare. I become speechless when even writing this because I cannot adequately express how awesome Emily, John, and P.J. are. (Clint and Kendi, a.k.a. Clendi, are part of the tribe, but they already knew my kids and treat them as their own.) So this is my public address to proclaim my thanks to the Boracay Tribe!!! It's unreal to think about how quickly people connect when their mindsets are all alike. Thank you for letting us become a part of you, and we honestly can't wait to hug you all again! XOXO

Third, hopefully we impacted some lives while we were there because the local people of Boracay greatly impacted us. When you walk the beach there, you will see many young children appearing to be playing in the sand. However, as you take a closer look, these children are building sand castles with personalized messages in order to make money to eat. They are earning a living at 5, 6, 7, 10 years old. They will write whatever you want in their castles and will charge you to take a picture with it. It just so happens that they are amazing at this skill!

They also run around selling you I <3 Boracay bracelets, and how can you say no?! Their faces; their little hands; their little hearts just exude cuteness and also a sad pity for them emerges. We wanted to take them home with us so badly! The kids have always begged me to adopt another baby ;-P

We befriended 2 boys, Mohammed and Hakeem, and 2 girls, both named Hessa, our first night there. We took them to McDonald's for their first time EVER! They didn't have to ask their parents to go with us, as they were off walking the beach and bars selling other tourist trap gifts. The feeling we all had when we told them to order what they wanted filled us with joy. The smiles on their faces was pure gold. They ate and ate and ate! We all talked to them and got to know them. What precious little people they are! After that night, we were all on a first name basis with them, except me or any other adult woman, as we were all called, "mom." I loved it. I miss that sound now. Every day and night thereafter, they would spot us and come running up, "Mom! Canyon! Parker! Autumn!" We played with them several nights and even took them out to eat again, but this time to an actual restaurant. Unfortunately, the staff tried to kick them out when they first walked in, until they said they were with Clint. That broke my heart. Local kids are shunned from establishments because of their solicitation, that they are innately taught to do. They are opportunists, but I can't help but wonder how many tourists actually take a moment to talk to them instead of just simply saying yes or no to whatever they are selling? How many tourists actually just give them money without taking the picture or the bracelet? How many tourists can tell you their names and ages? How many tourists can tell you which ones go to school and which ones don't? How many tourists take glamorous photos with them? How many tourists have picked them up and given them piggy-back rides and shoulder rides through the streets? How many tourists have let them test their strength by letting them punch their arm as many times as they physically can? How many tourists know what it's like to build the messages in the sand alongside them instead of just watching? We know. We know.

 

Fourth, my kids are forever touched now (which was my hope with my entire journey of getting them away from everything they have ever known - we've been destined for something far greater than ourselves and this is just the tip of the iceberg). The island opened up new horizons for them. They have always been helpers. They have always loved younger children. They have always wanted to do more for those less fortunate than ourselves, and here, they got that chance. I'm a fire-starter! Now, all 3 want to move there. All 3 were hoping for the typhoon to hit so that we could stay and help people afterwards. All 3 saw how a 3rd world country lives and fell in love with it. All 3 felt the impact the locals can make on you. All 3 saw the beauty of island life as well. All 3 came home more appreciative than ever. All 4 of us are still on an island high...

How proud am I?! I cry just thinking about how glorious my babies are turning out to be. They have had many moments where I am in awe of them, but this experience turned a new page for us. They have matured in a new way. They have a wisdom they didn't before. They have a new passion. They long for more. Wow...

"Without Courage Your Life Will Never Change" ~Me