My thoughts are all over the place...whew! What to say, where to begin, how detailed and in depth should I go when writing??? All vital questions in this new venture I have decided to embark upon. Honestly a possible quality of mine that may need some work...should I scale back? Be concise and to the point? Can I even be concise?! That is an even bigger question! I struggle with this all the time when I send an email, have a conversation, and even when texting. I am a detail person...and all of them are important to me! I don't think I am capable of leaving anything out ;-) Starting at the beginning would be a logical place to begin, but sometimes it's easier to talk about the most recent facets of life because of the vivid and fresh emotional currents to carry you through the topic.
So, how I came to this decision today, to go public with the intricate levels of me. Well, ultimately, I have to accredit the final push to my co-worker, Hanna, whom is amazing by the way! For some reason she thinks I am pretty funny in real-life and her suggestion of, "you should write a book," really pushed me through the ceremonial ribbon-cutting of something new and exciting. I have heard that quote too many times to count over the years, so I guess that means some people must like what I have to say! What a good feeling of affirmation :-) To know that I can either inspire somebody, help somebody or simply make someone smile benefits me beyond belief. No wonder I chose the path of education. It's the main reason we all do, and teaching was a great start to get me to where I am today.
I have had this deep lingering feeling my entire adult life that there is something bigger out there in this world for me...I always look for opportunities and/or "signs," if you will, that I am at least moving in the right direction of what I am truly meant to accomplish on this Earth; more than being in the classroom, more than simply being a mom, and more than being dependent upon no one but myself. By no means am I anything special or above anyone else. In fact, I have been through many trials and tribulations, more than some, but not near as many as others, but all in all I am rooted in the notion that every situation, every challenge you face, every feel good moment, every person that crosses your path has a purpose and prepares you for something else...another situation, another challenge, another feel good moment and yes, even for another person. Shocking revelation, I know! Ha
Now, all of these thoughts and much, much more have been swirling around in my core like a storm brewing and every now and again they pop up and rain over me, and I will write them out, or at the very least share these aspirations, and honestly, pure confusion, with someone, anyone that would listen! Ahhh, poor men...usually! Typically new ones that I meet because most all of the others I am close to have already heard it! I tend to be an open book from the get-go, which can be both a curse and a blessing, but I'll get into that topic later!
Today I was sitting in a wonderful and powerful PLC/RtI training (all you non educators out there will have no clue what that stands for, but if you are looking for an opportunity to learn something new, look into it because many of the foundational principles could apply to business models and possibly to most any type of community learners looking to bring about change in a collaborative setting...in my opinion at least) and many topics the speaker covered hit so close to home. Again, more inspiration to get it all out! So, all the while I was listening, I was multitasking, as every great woman does ;-P and some of my past experiences were in full visual mode connecting to aspects of the presentation. Wow. What a wonderful power to be in touch with. To see how and why you were in that precise moment, hearing those precise words, watching a detailed video clip that linked directly to YOUR life. I'm sure this must happen to lots of people all the time, right? Am I right?! I have absolutely no clue! But nevertheless, it meant something to me. It meant a lot to me. I leaned over and shared these revelations with Hanna banana (of course that's her nickname, what else would it be?! ;-) and the wheels on my brain bus were spinning rapidly in every direction! It was so refreshing to know that some of the most dreadful and rigorous trials I have ever been faced with prepared me for today. I could listen to the presentation and connect and now ultimately apply my knowledge to the task laid before me. How can you teach others what you have never lived? How can you teach teachers without having been one? How can you inspire others if you haven't ever been inspired? How can you realize that every moment in this life means something unless you see/feel/hear/believe/embrace the connections?
This summative experience gave me a well needed shove...how can these chaotic whirlwinds of momentary and ever-changing instances we call life be productive and positive? Well, I have some advice in some areas to promote this ideal, and thus how I came to the decision to call this very first blog, Positive Chaos. I live it every day due to my own choices and outlook. It will definitely be the reoccurring theme that I will always tie back to.
"Without Courage Your Life Will Never Change." ~Me
No comments:
Post a Comment