In science, there are types of energy and forms of energy. Kids learn these basics, along with the Law of Conservation of Energy...how energy is not created nor destroyed; it only changes forms. Well, taking this idea, and applying it to the positive and negative forms of energy that every human being can radiate has taken me years to understand and practice, but I think I have a decent handle on it now. Are you the glass is half empty kind of person, or the glass is half full kind of person? You know the answer to that question without even hesitating. Anyone that has had any kind of real conversation with me knows that I am a half full kind of gal. Always have been and always will be. Somehow I have conditioned myself to keep up this willful behavior even in the toughest of times of losing my father when I was 16, having 3 children while working and in college, enduring and leaving an abusive marriage, and packing up and leaving my support system to move 500 miles away to the unknown, to mention a few. It is not easy, and there have been times I have slipped into the depression darkness for brief moments, but I could always make efforts, conscious and meaningful efforts, to remove myself from the pity party and find reasons to make the next day better. Even right now, I don't want to talk about the "dark side" because it makes me uncomfortable. I am not a fan of being around negativity in any shape or form. I don't watch the news for this reason, nor get involved with anything that involves negative talk. My brain also buries negative experiences deep down, and I have a hard time recalling details of those moments as time passes.
Surround yourself with what you want to radiate. If you put on a positive glow, people will take notice. If you speak positively in dire situations, you will brighten the outlook for at least 1 person, besides yourself. If you center your energy on the positive, you will attract more positive. I have experimented with all of these and have found them all to be true. When you decide that you are going to be positive, the cells in your body absorb that energy and continually pass it along throughout. Same idea if you are a negative Nancy; it resonates in your mind and body. You think horrid thoughts, you have a negative self-image, your body language screams out for help and you attract negativity (misery loves company, right?) All the signs of depression are exposed. Think about the energy you show off to the world. How do people react to you? Is it pleasant or harsh? Do you find yourself getting compliments or complaints? It is so important to take some time to reflect upon what you reflect! When you blow up at someone you are mad at or when you say ugly things to someone, you really are reflecting what is inside of you. Your insecurities come out in the actions and words you choose. On the flip side, if you are on the receiving end of such negativities, you must realize too, that it is a reflection of them, not yourself. You get your chance to show off when you respond to the situation. You can diffuse any situation with the right mental attitude. Don't sweat the small stuff is right! Focus on how you can make situations better and how you can proactively make steps to not be in such situations again. You should find that if you feel good about yourself, others will feel good about you too. Your confidence speaks volumes and the words and actions you say and do, as well as the standards you set for yourself, will draw in the peers you seek.
Real-life examples:
My job of being an Instructional Coach is interesting. Different than teaching in a classroom all day, but similar in the way I approach my learners (not students now, but teachers.) If I were to go into a teacher's room to observe and didn't smile nor make any kind of positive gesture, I would be setting a tone. Then, after the observation, if I were to only be criticizing the things they did wrong, guess how they would react to me?! Well, same goes for teachers with their students. I cannot tell you how many classrooms I have observed where teachers do not smile and there is not one positive thing that comes out of their mouth. Then, they complain that the kids are misbehaving, not doing their work, driving them crazy, etc...well, guess what?! If you want positive feedback, you must radiate positive energy! I always try and find at least 1 positive in the rooms I visit (and sometimes that can be a brutal task) so I can share that with the teacher first. Typically, it wins them over. People love to hear what they are doing right. People love positive affirmation. Kids love to hear what they are doing right. Kids love positive affirmation...I'm sensing a pattern here ;-) I have won over more teachers, parents, students, and administrators by sharing the good than I would have ever if I had only focused on the bad. I am modeling for the teachers what they should be modeling in their classrooms. I am walking into very negative situations every day and trying to make the most of them. The only way I can teach teachers to be positive, is to be positive with them.
Raising children is an exceptionally hard task, but something you do innately whether you are single or married. You just do it. You either do it the way you were raised, or the opposite! It doesn't take any kind of superhero smoothie to get through the day, although that would be an amazing marketing product! Anyway, being that I have been raising mine alone for almost 9 years now has really let me take control of how I want them to be raised. I have had to make life changing choices in order to keep them surrounded by positive energy. I have had to force myself to put on a positive face when times were tough and we didn't have enough money for lunch, when Parker was having major issues at school, and when I didn't know where we were going to live or how we were going to make it each month. I have had to smile through many, many tears of confusion, uncertainty, sadness, opposition, rejection, and loneliness just to let them know everything is going to be ok and tomorrow is a new day. I have moved them to different cities, different schools, different neighborhoods, amped up my positive talk, and set up positive behavior reinforcements all in hopes for them to reap positive life rewards. I am soooo insanely happy today with the progress we have made as a family and how each one has adjusted to our life adjustments. This road has been filled with naysayers and inevitable bumps in the road, but with each bump, I walked away with a lesson learned. All 3 of my children are living proof that the environment and their own energy and outlook on life will determine their level of success. I could write pages and pages about the specific situations, but the proof is in the pudding! Parker has been dismissed from Special Ed, finding out that after 4 years of being labeled with a few learning disabilities, he has NONE of them and is now performing on grade level, and being successful with the positive structure and love his new school has put in place. Guess which elementary rooftop I would like to shout that off of?! Haha, some of you will understand that statement and should chuckle :-) Canyon has crossed over from the dark side (goodbye Darth Vader) and is now performing at his potential because he cleared his mind of negativity and gained a new appreciation for his life here with me. His new school has also offered tremendous amounts of positive support that he is responding to in a positive way. Autumn can adjust to anything, by golly! That girl smiles and embraces each day with a positive outlook, and there isn't a soul out there that can say one negative about her. All 3 very different personalities facing very different challenges, but all 3 continually teach me something about life every day by the way they respond. Listen to children's words and actions as they are in the purest form! They are the best indicators of if what you are doing is having a positive or negative effect on the world.
"Without Courage Your Life Will Never Change." ~Me
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